Running Day One

Forgive me for a totally "about me" post.

For a while now I have been getting back into working out and it has been feeling really good. Well, good in a painful way. I was foolish enough last week to do a major workout before having to carry Mette through multiple airports. Not my best planning ever. Due to having very little time to myself I have been working out during naptime which is hard. Sometimes the kids wake up before I am done or worse yet, without me getting a shower. Plus, naptimes are my time to clean, cook and sew so it has been cutting into that a lot which is a bit hard on me. I also have been feeling like I could use some cardio. Cardio is hard to do in the house with sleeping children. I keep thinking about running, but being someone who for YEARS has wondered how and why people run as it looks so painful and boring, it has been a hard sell. I was raised in a house of runners so it seems normal to me, for other people to do, not me. I swam for years and somehow endless laps back and forth is comforting to me, but running made no sense. If there was a pool in my backyard I would totally fall into swimming again in a heartbeat, but since there isn't and going to the gym, when the lap lanes are open is more scheduling than I can handle right now. Scheduling, that has been the other big hurdle with exercising for me. Eric is out of the house around 8 and gets home in the summer around 4 or 4:30. Normally he gets up with the kids in the morning (I do the middle of the night shifts, and yes, it is still shifts, sigh) and I got an extra half hour to hour to be in bed. I have not been interested in giving that up, until now. There just is no other time for me to workout that isn't the evening and evenings just don't work for me. I am a morning person so really, what is getting up a little earlier? I hatched a plan and ran it by eric last night when he got home for NYC. I would get up a little after 6 and head out to run, he would get up with the kids like normal, I would be home and showered by 7 or 7:30 so he could be out the door at his normal time. He was game, but wondered why. Why indeed. The reason, I want time to myself. Time with my own thoughts in my head. Time where no one is asking my why, or how, or what. Time where I am not getting snacks, or drinks, or changing diapers. Time to listen to NPR, or music I like, or nothing. Time to do what I please in my own head.

So this morning I set an alarm, the first time I have done that in over three years, and got up. I was hoping to make an escape before the kids woke up but they were up when I was done getting dressed. As I put on my sneakers Otto said, "wow mom, cool shoes, you look like a teamer". I never wear sneakers which is obvious from their reaction. When Mette saw me she immediately bent down and ran her fingers over the designs in my sneakers. She cried as I left out the backdoor, but calmed down soon per eric's report.

And with that I was free. It was glorious. I ran further and with more ease than I expected which was nice. But really I am not interested in distance or speed, I just want to be out there, on my own. I was lovely. My goal is three times a week and I think I am going to look forward to each day. So for all the years I laughed at runners, I apologize. I totally get it now.