Time makes you bolder *edited*

Children get older. I'm getting older too.

Yes, I'm getting older too

I know, Fleetwood Mac. See, I really am getting older, and cornier.

Was that possible.

Guess the answer is yes.

In the last few months, and really in the last few weeks, days even, it has hit me, where and who I now am. I don't really think it has to do with the fact that I am turning 30 in a mere 9 weeks (but who is counting?) though I am sure on some level it does. 30 as a number and age doesn't really scare me. Not being the youngest anymore though really seems to get under my skin.

I have always been the youngest. In college most of my close friends were older. Which sucked because they could drink legally. Truth be told though, I don't think I was ever carded until I was 22 or 23, and it wasn't because that was my first time out drinking.... I was always the baby. In age, but I always felt like if I wanted to hang out with people who I liked, they had to be older and smarter. Especially boys! Case in point, my husband is 12 years older than me and I believe he needed those extra years. Granted, he is one of the smartest people I know, provided you don't measure intelligence on the ability to find things, remember things that he is not interested in (like how the car seat is installed) or notice if I painted an entire room while he was at work, but in pretty much all other area, he has it covered. That has a lot to do with why I like him so much. Well that, and I really think he is cute!

Somehow this need to be around people who had their act together, were interesting and frankly I just enjoyed more has meant that I have always had friends who ranged from at least a few years older to 5, 1o or 2o years older. And I was fine with how that worked.

Then a few months ago I started reading the bios on some of the blogs I really enjoy. These are mostly design blogs written by hip women whose lives I will admit to envying. They have great taste, live in cool places, know cool people, go to cool parties, wear great one of a kind clothes, and are of course older than me.

Except, they aren't. Some of them are 5!! years younger than me!! When the hell did this happen?? I realize, I have been busy making babies and I think that is very important but still!! This kind of shook me up a bit.

Then a few weeks ago I was for a few drinks with a good friend (who is of course older ;) ) and two (TWO!!) of her friends who we were hanging out with who had big jobs and cool lives, were 3 and 5 years my junior!! Did I mention that I am always the baby! UGH! Not cool.

The reality is that I don't really care whether or not I am older or younger than someone, if they are cool, I will like them. It is more a sudden shift in the greater forces that I wasn't expecting and came at what can only be described as a fragile moment in my birthday process.

To top it all off, in a few short weeks I will be the proud mother of a four year old and a two year old which is beyond crazy.

And, this past October marked the fourth anniversary of when we sold the restaurant. Which means, not only am I old enough to have HAD and SOLD a restaurant, but I did it all more than four years ago.

I know, whine, whine, whine. I am 29, what do I have to complain about?? Right! I know. I will stop now. It's is just a lot to deal with at once.

Did I mention how much my knee hurts.....

****** It has been brought to my attention that I really shouldn't feel old at all. After all, I am going to have a new baby brother in just a few short weeks!! So there age! HAH! For the record I am hoping that he is born on either on Otto's birthday or mine (both within the window of possibility) because my dad is going to need as much help as he can remembering stuff :)!!!*******